Simple things often end up revealing the most significance, don’t you think? I have a large window mounted in our dining room. It’s painted over with chalkboard paint so that every birthday and holiday I can create a new massage to our family and friends. Yesterday, with some sadness that Christmas is truly over, I washed away “Joy to the word the Lord has come. Let earth receive her King” and began to design something to take us into the New Year. I had just finished sketching in the framing when it occurred to me that not just anyone could make art out of an old window in their dining room in about an hour, thanks God. I have been feeling more grateful for my gifts this past year. Then it accrued to me, how many times have I tried to wish this gift away in the past? How many times has someone complement my art or general craftiness and I thought to myself “thanks, sure wish I could read”? THOUSANDS OF TIMES. All of my school aged years and too much of my twenties were spent wishing to God, if I could only read and spell, I try so hard and drawing is not a valuable skill, I want to do something important and for all of those thing I have to read. I don’t want to be an artist; I want to be valuable… I usually didn't even got this far into thinking before the emotional shut down. There is no point wishing, I am how God made me, I should be grateful; however, today it didn't end there. I kept drawing, I kept thinking. I know what I wished then but now, today, if I could read, spell, finish collage, be like those I admired by not being able to make art would I? For the first time I could honestly say no, NO, Oh my God, thank you, no I wouldn't.
The courage to be a little more of who I was created to be seems to have taken a long time getting here however, I am so grateful that this year was the year for courage. Writing on my chalk board, sketching our backyard, decorating a cake, even finger painting with my girls is so freeing when I let it be and say thank you God, thank you for this, you are good.
What a challenging, rewarding, full year this has been. I never thought I would say that I will be serving on a board at a University as a parent and also as a person with a disability. Wow, thank you God for courage, and changing me, opening me up. I have loved this year for all its ups and downs because in the midst of them so much has been ripped away, reveled, made new. I feel so bless and changed this year; my cup truly does run over with joy, peace, wisdom, friendship, kindness, generosity, family... A big part of myself stopped hiding this year, good by 2012. Thank you God for your faithfulness.
Grace and Peace to you in 2013,