Thursday, October 18, 2012

Mom always Said Life Isn't Fair

Some mornings I find myself resisting the urge to call my mom and complain, "Mom, it's not fair!  We should be over this by now, I put in the time, and surely this just isn't fair!”  I don't know if there is really a point at which a mommy just can't take it anymore but I'm pretty sure that God made it so we only have to change diapers of the same child for so many years to maintain our sanity; at least that's how I feel on the mornings when Claire's bed time pull up explodes pee crystals all over my living room floor five minutes after she gets up (this happens a lot).  

I know parenting isn't A+B=C but sometimes it feels that way with my girls who's only diagnosis is toddler.  I tell them 20 times to stop slamming the door, some consequences and wow, they stop for the most part.  Claire we tell 2,000 times to stop slamming the door and it's still a problem.  So what happens when life isn't fair?

I HATED it when my mom told me that life isn't fair!  I can imagine that with triplets (of which I am one) she was knee deep in wining children trying to get their fair share.  My brothers and I are pretty competitive and my childhood memories are filled with racing to get the mail, front seat, best place at the dinner table... and when we didn't get our way Mom always said "life isn't fair."  Why was that so infuriating?  Because I deserve: I deserve my way because I played by the rules, I deserve it because it's my turn, I deserve it because I waited long enough... and now, I deserve to have this child listen to me because man did I put in the time!  But thinking this way only leaves me exasperated with no patience for anyone.  Is this what you meant mom; that when I live my life with expectations I will always be disappointed?  AKA, life isn't fair...  It is running after the wind, pointless to be unset about something I can't change; moving on or be miserable.

It's hard not to have this mind set with Claire that I'm going to fight until we accomplish the goal or totally give up.  I don't seem to have a natural half speed; being patient with where she is at while expecting her to do much more then she wants to do for herself.  I've always been a project person.  Get in, get it done, enjoy the reward; but that's just not life with Claire.  The "project" never ends.  I sighed, thankful I wasn't alone when I read a friend Mary's post the other day that their house has begun "operation make Riley listen."  Yep, I get that!  Because I want the best for Claire and that has to include her listening and to do that it feels like a full blown, never ending operation.  It's always something with her.  The day I said out loud "wow, Claire, you can legibly write your first name," they sent homework to write her full name.  When you are behind you are always playing catch up and it's hard not to get discouraged.    

Claire can get very frustrated doing things that she really CAN do like putting on her socks in the morning.  I feel you Claire!  We can do it girl! 


1 comment:

  1. haha love the pictures! I feel that way most mornings :) Hang in there mama!! Your doing a fabulous job!!