Affection, companionship, gifts, affirmation... the list goes on, we have so many needs. Nate and I had to read a book I very much dislike in premarital counseling His Needs Her Needs, great consent but at the end of every chapter was a story about how a couple ended up having an affair because their needs were not being met... ten affairs, what a downer. Strangely enough, as much as we gave Chad a hard time for making us read it we reference it the most. We are always saying "how is your love tank?' or "I need some recreational companionship." Thanks Chad.
When your spouse in gone for five weeks you became painfully aware of these basic needs or "love language" and what is really the most important to you. For me, normally, it's companionship, after three days I'm going stir crazy because I miss that part of our relationship. He comes through the front door and it's "hi honey, how was your day?... the girls are probably ready to play outside... I'm just going to throw dinner in real quick... I love you too..." It's just knowing I am not alone.
This deployment has been so different. I just want someone to do stuff for me, "acts of service." Wash the dishes, change a diaper, fold the laundry, put away the laundry... just not me, just one time, please.
I don't think it is because I have changed so much. It's because my needs are being met :) I don't feel lonely because I am not alone. I have had such great support and someone to connect with every day. This week I felt God saying so clearly "I love you, I know your needs and I will fill you up. You are not alone." Praise God!