Friday, April 29, 2011

Growing into love

"I'm afraid I wont love her like my other children,"  I thought to myself so often while considering the idea of adoption and in the years following Claire's Gotcha Day.  It's a pretty common concern and it ate at my heart.  Guilt would rise up in unexpected ways.  I would look into the eyes of my newborn Makenna, totally in rapture at her perfect little nose, just like Dad's, and retreat with consuming guilt knowing that this was truly a different kind of love. 

This amazing gift, Claire, my daughter, given to me and now She needs to be taken care of no matter what that means.  Heart brake, long nights in the emergency room, long days in therapy... "Once you have decided this in your heart and mind, you continue on, day by day, and you feel those decisions build in your heart until they bring such a smile to your face and tears of joy to your eyes that you surprise yourself." ( I know that I love her and it is different but it is wonderful.

I thank God for the day Claire's bio Mother was told her child would have Down Syndrome and she let her live.  Claire was made to touch so many lives, to teach us to love in a new way.  Thank you my sweet Claire bear!