Angela is my talented, passionate and beautiful cousin. This week I get to go over to Bellevue for her bridal shower. Her wedding is my due date so I am regrettably missing the big day. Her mum, my auntie Janet, asked me to say a few "words of wisdom" at the shower. I am honored though I feel less then qualified. So I've been racking my brain for the wisdom entrusted to me through my marriage.
You can avoid so much unnecessary conflict by NOT say something every day you wanted to say. Keeping my yapper shut is such a good thing for me to practice. I'm not advocating not communicating important matters to your spouse. They will just pile up and pretty soon you'll be a volcano poised to explode the moment he walks in late from work. I'm talking about the little naggy things like "it's faster to take the second street exit" and "those genes really don't match your shirt." Trust me, you'll be proud of yourself even if you would have gotten their ten minutes sooner taking your rout and arriving with a mismatched date. It's my own little victory and he doesn't even know it happened.
Another is simply to remember that Nate is a mirror of my spiritual life. On those days when I feel like I just can't stand to be around him, most often I look back and see that I have not been spending time with the Lord and casting my cares to Him. Rather, I expect Nate to fill my emotional needs and lets face it, he is just not Jesus.
We keep coming back to this whole "good willed" thing. We remind each other all the time "I'm not evil willed." To me, it means that when Nate hurts my feelings, it happens a lot more when I am pregnant and emotional these days, I remember, he is on my side. He is not out to get me. It sounds simple but seriously, it works. It defuses my anger and stops me from getting to wound up. If I see him as the enemy and myself as the helpless victim our arguments will go on forever.
Quite possibly my favorite piece of advice is that you are a team! God has a purpose and a plan for our marriage and family. It is so much bigger then even I understand. We are like Batman and Robin with our little power puff girls and "when our powers combine" something amazing happens, God can use us. We are on a mission, Team Leitz!