Sunday, October 10, 2010
Adopted Like Me
Though we had Claire for two years she was not officially adopted until just weeks before Makenna was born. I really struggled with comments from friends who told me I just didn't understand what real love was and having Makenna was going to be SO DIFFERENT. I resented the idea. I didn't want to think of my love for Claire as less and I didn't want this new baby to be more.
When Makenna was born I was overwhelmed with this out of control obsession love (that's the best way I can describe it). It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. She was perfect to me in every way and I didn't even care to sleep, just watch her breath. Nate took that whole month off of work and we just camped out at home and soaked it all in.
A few weeks flew by and I was able to proses everything enough to tell Nate a little bit about how I was feeling. I was overjoyed for Makenna and heartbroken for Claire. Makenna had a perfect two weeks. No one put her down, ever, being held close continuously with a parent looking lovingly into her eyes telling her how beautiful she is every waking moment. When Claire was born it was hospitals and monitors and stress for nine months. When we got her it was visitation four days a week, therapy three days a week, doctors appointments, social workers, court... for two years. She never got these precious moments with her parents at home. We cried and made a packed. From that day on we held Claire like she was a new born too, looking into her eyes and telling her she is perfect in every way.
You never run out of love. It just keeps flowing over. The new love we had for Makenna pored over into our love for Claire and we were all refreshed. It was incredible thinking of God's love in this way. I am adopted too. My heavenly father had the perfect son and sacrificed him for ME. God shown us real love, agape love. "His love was intense and identical for all of humanity" says Nate.
Different is not bad; different is amazing! My love for Claire reminds me of Christ's love for me.